Shush, Keep It Down Now
Early yesterday morning, I went to the hospital and had my port removed. The surgery went off without a hitch. As was the case with my lumpectomy, the assisting surgeon was a rather good looking fellow. At least this time I had hair. I met the surgeon when I was wheeled into the OR and noticed, just before passing out, that he had gorgeous blue eyes. Not being a girl who likes to leave things unsaid, I asked for the surgeon the second I regained consciousness, only to say “You’ve got beautiful eyes!” He laughed and thanked me, saying something about how his wife only offered such compliments while recovering from sedation. I assured him, that I was the type of gal who was generous with compliments. At this point, my rather matronly nurse told me, “Just rest now, just go to sleep.”
Naturally, I ignored her and kept talking to Dr Blue Eyes. “Where are all the eligible bachelors in this joint?” I asked. He laughed and told me they were all over the place. “Well, send some my way!” I told him as they wheeled me off to recovery.
“You need to rest now,” Nurse Rachett again chimed in. “You’re being silly.”
“Being silly?” I asked, in disbelief. “No, I’m not. This is just how I am!”
“This is just how you are, huh?” She said this as if it were a final statement, and I confirmed it, just in case. Now I could hear her discussing with another nurse how they had given me Ketamine during surgery. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the name, Ketamine is a drug used in anesthesia, but is also used recreationally and referred to as “Special K”. Yesterday was my first experience with Ketamine, and while I’m not particularly interested in seeking out new and exciting drugs to use for fun, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was hearing some hip new band all the cool kids were talking about. Like, “Ooh! This is what all the hype is about!” Truthfully, I’m sure Ketamine was just part of a bigger cocktail, so I couldn’t say for sure what was doing what, but I was feeling rather happy with the world.
From the sounds of it, Nurse Rachett was not sharing my joy. She spit out “Ketamine” like it was a dirty word. This lady was just out to ruin my good time.
“I deserve Ketamine!” I yelled across the room. “My husband cheated on me while I had cancer!”
She looked at me, horrified, and didn’t say another word. Some people have no sense of humor.